Insecurity, on the other hand, isn’t sexy at all

Insecurity, on the other hand, isn’t sexy at all

  • She sends you long(ish) messages. If you sent her a four-sentence message and she replies with something the same length or longer, she’s usually pretty interested and open to meeting.
  • She’s giving you . ‘s and ;)’s. Emoji and lols are the online equivalent of laughter, enthusiasm, and flirting, and you know what it means when a girl laughs at your jokes. She either wants to please you or thinks you’re funny.
  • She’s asking you questions. Curiosity is a good sign – she wants to know more about you.

Saying something like, “I know you probably don’t want to go out with a guy like me, but in case you do, I figured I would ask . . . blah blah blah” is a guaranteed way to send her running for the hills.

Keep it casual.

Yes, we all know it’s practically the same thing, but the word “date” sounds a lot scarier. You haven’t even met yet – how can you really even be going on a date? Plus, it’s a high-investment, emotionally charged word. “Meeting up” is more laid-back, casual, and safe.

The exception to this is when she’s in her late 30s and up. She’s likely more serious about finding a relationship, and wants to know the other person is as well. In that scenario, “date” is typically a better word to use because you want to sound a little more invested.

Always propose a low-investment activity like meeting at a coffee shop or bar. This puts less pressure on her. If things don’t go well, she’s only invested 30 minutes of her time. If you suggest dinner or a trip to the art museum, she’ll be thinking, “If I don’t like this guy, I’ll be stuck with him for hours!”

Give her a choice.

We tracked different variables related to hundreds of ‘ask for the date’ messages, and the data showed us that the acceptance rate doubles when you give her an option for the activity.

For example, we usually suggest meeting up for “coffee or drinks.” If you don’t drink alcohol and she’s not a girl in her 20s who probably thinks talking on the phone is weird, you could make the options “talking over the phone or meeting up for coffee.”

Whatever you do, never, ever only suggest drinks. When we did that, the meetup acceptance rate got cut http://datingreviewer.net/cs/android-cs/ in half.

Make statements she already agrees with.

You’ve heard the phrase “it’s not what you say but how you say it.” This definitely rings true when asking a woman out. Say something you KNOW she’ll agree with, because small yeses help lead up to the bigger yes.

  • “Let’s get together for coffee or drinks sometime soon. Call me old-fashioned, but talking in person just seems like a MUCH better way to get to know someone than messaging online. what do you think?”
  • “You seem cool, but I’ve found it’s difficult to predict chemistry until you meet someone in person. What are your plans for the weekend?”

What woman wouldn’t agree that talking in person is a better way to get to know someone than exchanging messages online? Or that it’s easier to predict chemistry in person than online?

Stay in the driver’s seat.

Once she agrees to meet you, set a time and date. Don’t leave it completely open for her to choose when and where.

That puts a lot of pressure on her, and it also makes it looks like you’ll make yourself available for her whenever she wants. Plus, you’re the man and you should be taking control. That’s way more attractive.